Kirkham and District 

Fly Fishers' Club

Established over 30 years 

Are you looking for a Fly Fishing club to join in the Lancashire area ?

We have various fishing price options available, annual and daily.

Full Club Membership at £170 + a joining fee   Or   A Season Ticket at £170 no joining fee.

We also have Day Ticket fishing at £15 with concessionary rates at £10.

Our fish are Rainbow trout and Blue trout (very hard fighting fish) 1 ½ lbs to 5 lbs or more.

All our fish come from one of Lancashire ’s finest suppliers. 

The club is situated in some of Lancashire ’s most beautiful countryside.

We have our own private web site, which is full of

Hints & Tips … Club news … who has caught what and lots more.

We own a private fishing hut to shelter from the changeable British weather.

We also have members only toilet facilities both Ladies & Gents. 

As of the 1st July 2007 the club will be operating a Catch & Release

scheme for full club members and their day ticket guests. 

&

 season ticket holders and their day ticket guests.

For further information Contact:  Club Secretary Mr D Wardman 

at:   kadffc@blueyonder.co.uk

This Months Quote sent in by: Dave   

 Catch and Release fishing is a lot like golf. You don't have to eat the ball to have a good time.

And

Fly fishermen are born honest, but they get over it.

And

What a tourist terms a plague of insects, the fly fisher calls a great hatch.

This Months Jokes sent in by: Dave  

Joke 1

An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish.

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "wait while I get my hat!!"

Joke 2

A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"

Joke 3

The local angling club was having its annual dinner and presentation of trophies. When the members arrived they were surprised to see all the chairs spaced out two metres apart. One of them said to the caterer:

"That's a strange way to arrange seats for a party."

"We always do it like that so that members can do full justice to their fish stories."

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